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Remember that ejaculation is a learned behaviour; only you can treat yourself. Treatment doesn’t work like magic; it’ll definitely cause doubling of time, but to increase time beyond that, you need to do the handwork. The purpose of all treatment is to induce an increase in ejaculation time, and once your brain learns to last longer, which takes about 6-8 months, you can gradually start having sex without any drugs or surgery.
Dos At Home
Eat Healthy: Studies have shown that men and women who are mostly vegetarian have more endurance and last much longer in bed than non-vegetarians. They have more stamina due to the nutrients they are getting from a healthy diet of fruits and veggies. Particularly sex-friendly fruits include bananas, strawberries and amla.
Exercise: Exercise improves blood flow in general, and that includes your penis! Certain yoga asanas like the cobra pose can help, as can “Kegels”. Kegels exercises help to build up the muscles in your pelvic floor to help you have better control. How do you find these muscles?
Pretend you are trying to avoid passing gas.
While urinating, try to stop your urine stream.
If you've identified the right muscles, you'll feel the contraction more in the back of the pelvic area than the front.
Practice Contractions
Choose your position. Start by lying on your back until you get the feel of contracting the pelvic floor muscles. When you have the hang of it, practice while sitting and standing.
Contract and Relax
Contract your pelvic floor muscles for 3 to 5 seconds.
Relax for 3 to 5 seconds.
Repeat the contract/relax cycle 10 times.
Keep other muscles relaxed. Don't contract your abdominal, leg, or buttock muscles, or lift your pelvis.
Place a hand gently on your belly to detect unwanted abdominal action.
Extend the time. Gradually increase the length of contractions and relaxations. Work your way up to 10-second contractions and relaxations
Aim high. Try to do at least 30 to 40 Kegel exercises every day. Spreading them throughout the day is better than doing them all at once. Diversify. Practice short, 2 to 3 second contractions and releases (sometimes called "quick flicks") as well as longer ones.
3. Pay Attention To Your Body: One of the most common ways to keep yourself from ejaculating too soon is to monitor your excitement, and then, before you orgasm, stop all stimulation until you’ve got yourself under control again. This is called the “stop start technique”. In this method your partner stimulates your penis until just before ejaculation. Your partner then stops until the urge to climax lets up. As you regain control, you ask your partner to start stimulating your penis again. This process is repeated 3 times. You ejaculate on the fourth time. You repeat this method 3 times a week with your partner until you have gained more control.
4. The Squeeze Technique: When you’re about to orgasm, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure on the tube running underneath your penis for 15-20 seconds. This will push blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension, calming your ejaculatory response.
5. Use Desensitisers: Applying a topical spray to your penis can lessen sensation and help you gain control of ejaculation. Desensitisers come in the form of sprays and creams. These creams/sprays are put on the head of the penis about 20 to 30 minutes before sex. If you leave the numbing cream/spray on your penis for longer than suggested, your erection may go away. Also, the numbing cream/spray should not be left on the exposed penis during vaginal sex because it may cause vaginal numbness. Wash the cream off your penis 5 to 10 minutes before sex.
6. Distract Yourself: If you find yourself getting too excited too soon, try distracting yourself by thinking of something unrelated to sex. Temporarily diverting your attention can help you to relax and last longer. You could also pull out and switch positions. Switching around your bodies gives you some time to regain vigour and also allows you to explore new positions.
7. Masturbation is a great way to help build stamina; How? it helps you retrain your brain to last longer. Because you have the maximum control on your penis during masturbation, you can easily control how much you are stimulated, and gradually train your brain to last longer.
- Begin by masturbating regularly (three to five times per week) to become accustomed to the level of sensitivity and stimulation.
- Try masturbating with both a wet hand and a dry hand to get used to varying sensations.
- Try building control by masturbating right up until you feel yourself about to release, then stop masturbating, let your erection die down a little bit, maybe five minutes or so, and then start masturbating again.
- Do this exercise three or four times before you finally allow yourself to “finish” and masturbate to orgasm.
- Practicing this idea will help you to know where your “point of no return” is, so that during partner sex when you feel this sensation happening, you can back off either by “pulling out” to change sexual positions thus dulling your sensation for a moment or you can change your stroke (instead of thrusting in and out during sex you can leave your penis inside your partner and go in circles, which can be a bit less stimulating).
- Knowing what your “point of no return” feels like is crucial for gaining control over ejaculation.
8. Try making use of the “Refractory Period” after ejaculation. Many men experience less sensitivity during the second erection and often a good treatment for premature ejaculation is to have the man ejaculate once (maybe during intercourse) then move on to please his partner until his erection returns, then use that second erection to have a longer intercourse session.
9. Another tip to try is to use more Lubricant. Reducing the friction may help you last longer.
10. If you haven't orgasmed within 24 hours of being sexual with your partner, you will ejaculate quicker. Men who masturbate in the mornings and then have relations with their partners in the evening tend to be able to last longer because they have had an orgasm within the same day. You can also masturbate at night and have sex in the morning with the same effect.
Don’ts At Home
1. Forget To Wear A Condom: Condoms tend to decrease pleasure and sensitivity during sex, but that may be a good thing if you’re trying to last longer!
Many manufacturers make extra-thick condoms that serve well as desensitisers, and some even come with local anaesthetics, plus you’ll be protected from STDs and unwanted pregnancy.
2. Smoke Or Drink Alcohol: Smoking lessens blood flow to the penis and can leave you limp, while alcohol consumption prior to sex is a common cause of erectile dysfunction.
3. Stress Yourself Out: Premature ejaculation is often as much mental as it is physical. So relax, be positive, and approach sex with confidence and self-respect. The less stressed you are, the more control you will gain over how long you last.
4. Skip Foreplay: Studies have shown that those who partake in a little foreplay action before sex make love far longer than those who don't. In fact, Masters and Johnson pioneered a behavioural therapy that guarantees results in 90% of men in 3 months of practice! It’s called the Sensate Focus Therapy.
This technique is practiced 3 times/week. It proceeds in stages. In stage 1, you and your partner are naked, but do not touch each other’s genitals in any way. This allows proper relaxation and wards off performance anxiety. You start touching each other everywhere except the genitals and breasts, and focus on the sensation of being caressed. In stage 2, kissing and genital touching is allowed. In stage 3, the stop-start or squeeze techniques are practiced minus penetration. In stage 4, penetration is done. This technique allows for gradual desensitisation to sexual activity, and trains the brain to focus on the journey, not the destination.
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